Love Through Time

I thought I would try to find a series a photos that show love through the ages. Love seems to be a short-term event these days. Not many silver, gold or even diamond anniversaries now. Some even struggle to get to tin! Let’s keep committed to each other people. Happy World Photography day. One love 🙂

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I’m gay…yeah, and???

Yes I’m going to go there. What’s the issue with people being gay? Do people have a go at you for being straight? Leave them the hell alone! They are people just like you and me. Their blood is the same colour. Can they not do the same things that you and I can do? They are just as creative, just as intelligent, just as strange as we are!

There has been a huge furore in the media lately about gay marriage. Why? Are we saying that two people who love each other aren’t allowed to get married because they love someone who is of the same gender? How narrow minded and ignorant can we be?!

Let’s look at a few things before we move on. The church supposedly condemns homosexuality. Ok….What about thou shalt not kill? How many religious wars have there been and how many people have died at the hands of us in the name of God? Thou shalt not fornicate….I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one. Thou shalt not commit adultery..don’t need to comment on this one either. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Thou shalt not covet. Love one another as I have loved you. Do I need to go any further? I grew up in church and I have read the bible so I know what’s in it! Church leaders messing about with the alter boys. People committing various sins, going to confession and being told to say Hail Marys for absolution, and then that makes it ok? Oh, you can sin but as long as you confess your sins and pray for forgiveness it’ll be fine? I’ve known churches that have tried to exorcise the ‘demon’ that is homosexuality from people! Can you believe that?!

We discriminate against homosexuals just as we discriminate against class, race, gender, nationality, disability, even addresses for crying out loud. I grew up in a very homophobic country and although I had a few gay friends in high school, we had to keep it down for fear of their safety. I have many heterosexual as well as gay friends and we get on just fine. We hate what we don’t understand and I think that makes us one sad bunch.

Two people love each other, want to spend the rest of their lives together and want to make a public declaration of their love and commitment to each other in front of God. What’s wrong with that? Are we saying that there are no gay Christians? Well why don’t heterosexuals have civil partnerships instead of getting married then? Why do we allow heterosexuals to get married in church when they don’t believe in God but it makes great wedding photos? “Oooh I really like that church. Let’s find out how much it costs and get married there. Then we can go to the reception and drink til we can’t stand or see straight!” Can you see anything wrong with this picture?

Yeah alright, some homosexuals can be a bit over the top and love to exaggerate the whole gay and proud philosophy, and I admit I find it a bit distasteful when they really go overboard with it. I don’t find it particularly comfortable watching a bunch of men dressed in pink sequined hot pants and boob tubes violently gyrating while waving their rainbow flags to Madonna, Kylie or Abba’s Dancing Queen. I am equally uncomfortable watching women dressed in baggy jeans and vests covered in tattoos and piercings swaggering like one leg is three inches shorter than the other.  Having said that, there are also many if not more flamboyant heterosexuals who also go overboard sometimes.

Our sexual orientation is our business and we should be left alone to love who we want to love and be with whoever we want to. I know some of you will come back preaching to me about why gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married, be together or even be alive. Save your time and energy. I have my own opinion and noone is going to convince me otherwise. I love people regardless of whatever their preference and I believe that if we limit ourselves to the type of people society or the church tells us to like then we are preventing ourselves from making some wonderful friends. Have we not got enough to worry about? One love.

What is love?

ImageWhat is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more….do you remember that tune? How you went nuts when that came on?…or was it just me? Quality! Anyway got thinking today (surprise surprise) about a comment I left on another blogger’s post. What is love?…I’m not gonna get too deep so you can stop rolling your eyes now! :D. Ok so we know there are different types of love (I think Wikipedia does a better job than me :P). Hands up who thinks love is a choice? I’m referring to Éros love.

I believe that we choose to love. I might be wrong on this one but hear me out. I believe that when we meet someone we fall in ‘like‘, meaning infatuation. This is concerned more with physical attraction as opposed to an emotional connection. I believe that over time, we grow to love. I also believe that ‘love’ is a work in progress. Something which we must constantly work at in order to to keep the ‘flame lit’ or the ‘engine running’. I believe that if we get complacent in love our ‘car’ stands a very good chance of breaking down. I believe that we need to take our ‘love’ in for regular inspection or M.O.T. in order to make sure that our car (love) is ‘healthy’ and running smoothly. Nothing’s perfect and every now again we might get a puncture, worn brake shoes, leaky radiators, whatever. These things can be fixed. If we choose to ignore them then our car is gonna stall. What things do we do to make sure our love doesn’t ‘break down’? Do we just say things?…taking the car for a valet so it looks good on the outside, or do we act on what we say?…changing the oil, making sure there’s enough coolant, changing the spark plugs.

What do you do to make sure that your love is running smoothly? Are you the only one driving the car relying on your sat nav, or do you have someone next to you being your navigator? Are you going to the same place, or are you going to let the other person out before you get to your destination? Are you speeding, or are you driving within the speed limit?

I believe love requires effort, teamwork, communication, patience, intimacy, understanding…the list goes on. This leads me to the next question…can you fall out of love? If you believe you don’t choose, but fall into it, can you fall out of it? And if you do fall out, can you fall back in again? I’m quite interested in hearing your views on this.

I really need to get out more! I think too much. One love. 🙂

The Emotional Man

eman

Are men allowed to wear their hearts on their sleeves and express themselves? Are we expected to be what history and society dictates and be the strong hunter-gatherers, go-getters, decisive, firm cave men like creatures from yesteryear who doesn’t show any emotion at all? Guess what? We are not all like that. In fact, there are a lot more emotional men around than we think, ok ladies? I’ve found that men who are quiet, shy, indecisive, sensitive and who aren’t afraid of expressing themselves often get labelled as weak. Are we any less of a man because we do not conform to the social expectations? Are we poor excuses for men?

One thing I have noticed about our emotional man is that he tends to have many female friends and even though he may be attracted to a woman in his social circle, he will never get with her. Why? because he’s been “friend zoned.” He’s become the “brother that I never had and always wanted” kind of man. Forever condemned to a life of solitude and celibacy because he is so ‘nice’. Our emotional nice guy is quite shy. While he is quite talkative when around his female friends, trying to approach a stranger is like running up to an enraged bull, dressed in a postbox red shell suit and slapping it on its arse while shouting and waving frantically…death wish!

life buoy

The emotional man, now successfully ‘friend zoned’, often gets to be the lucky recipient of a coffee invite to the local cafĂ©, where his new found ‘sister’ is more than willing to share the short-comings of her relationship. The conversation usually consists of her moaning about how insensitive her partner is. How she can never tell what he’s thinking because he rarely talks to her and is always on the bloody Xbox. He only notices her when he’s hungry or wants sex. They never go out anymore because he’s more interested in going drinking with the lads or going to the football or the gym. He does nothing in the house, even on his days off and still expects her to come home from work and cook him dinner.

At this point the emotional man is thinking, “I’m the total opposite of this guy! Why am I still single?” Due to his natural caring nature, emotional man provides the encouraging words, tissues and reassuring hug that ‘sister’ needs. He’s such a good listener! After the rendezvous, emotional man leaves cafĂ© in the rain, shoulders hunched thinking “my life is pointless,” as he slowly walks home.

Emotional men rarely get together with strangers. They tend to get introduced by ‘sister’ to one of her mates at a social event. Emotional man gets talking because he has a get out of jail card…other friends around. Let’s say he gets on really well and gets together with new girl. She finds him exceptionally sweet, caring and attentive at first, but sometimes to his detriment, emotional man can get a bit too deep and intense! New girl is feeling smothered and tells emotional man that “It’s not you, it’s me,” and makes a mad dash for the door, never to be seen or heard from again.

thinking bw

Emotional man is thinking, “What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I sustain a relationship? Maybe if I turn into an arse**** and treat women like crap and be loud and vulgar I might get someone. That’s who these women seem to go for. ‘Nice’ guys never get the girl!” Is there a light at the end of his tunnel?

Emotional man or not, there seems to be a few perceived roles and expectations that women have for men in general. I’ve read and heard these from women so I’m not making this up ladies. I hasten  to add that I don’t believe that all women subscribe to this point of view. Tell me what you think and what you’re expectations are. This is the man’s ‘Contract of Relationship’:

1. You are never right…ever! You will never win an argument  and if you ever start to gain a winning edge, you will get thrown the infamous open palm followed by “whatever!”

2. You must wine and dine your woman, buy her flowers and chocolate, remember the date you got together, her birthday, her mother’s birthday, even her dog’s birthday. There’s an expectation to do something extra special for Valentine’s day….which will be the day you get dumped if you don’t pull your finger out!

3. You must be financially stable. Brownie points if you have your own property and car.

4. You must understand that when a woman says she’s ‘fine’ it means the opposite of when YOU say you’re fine!

5. She’s allowed to flirt with other men, but if you even think about turning your eyeballs let alone your head in the direction of another woman, she will start WWIII and you won’t get any for at least a month!

6. You must be good at DIY and putting together flat pack furniture….curse you IKEA!!

7. You must become their personal chauffeur once the relationship is established.

8. If she is mad at you, you can expect not to get laid for a significant period of time. Depending on the severity of your ‘crime’ you may regain your virginity!

9. You are not allowed to have any expectations of her and you will be grateful for whatever attention you receive and when you’re allowed to go out. You may be slapped, punched, kicked, locked out and this should be understood to be perfectly normal and totally acceptable. You must also be an animal in the bedroom otherwise be labelled a pathetic, useless, sorry excuse for a man….no pressure!

10. If you pee on the toilet seat or leave it up you will burn in hell!

Now ladies, there are two sides to every coin and you need to remember something about us men. We are not women so don’t expect us to think like you, or even understand what or how you are thinking. Please use less sarcasm when communicating with us. We are simple creatures who think in black and white and tend to be logical, literal thinkers. We don’t like mind games….you have been warned!

We do not always like to initiate things. It’s good to feel that our woman wants us too. And contrary to popular belief, men actually view sex as a way to express their love and strengthen the bond between you….we don’t always want to ‘knock one out’. If we say we love you, it doesn’t mean we are weak or that we want something…we mean it. That’s why we might not say it as much. Please do not give us the silent treatment or reject us in the bedroom because you’re angry or constantly have some kind of ailment or constantly tired. It will break the relationship by driving us away from you. Noone likes to be rejected. We also like little gifts and treats. If we are quiet and we say it’s because we are tired, or that we’re fine, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE MEAN!!!!!!

OK I’m gonna get off your cases now as I’ve just noticed how long this post is becoming and that I’m sounding like a bitter, woman hating whinger. At the end of the day we love you and we always will, we just expect the same back. Communication is key in any relationship and without this, lack of understanding and physical interaction then you might as well get out now.  Tell me your views. Do you agree with me? One love.