I’ve been thinking about the concept of change – to make or become different, transform, shift. There was a major change in my life a few years ago. It was difficult. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. With that change came a major transformation in me as a person and my attitude and outlook towards life, people and myself. I suffered emotionally and physically because of this change, and although it had to happen, it was something I didn’t want to face. Was it the change that I didn’t want to face, or was it the emotional roller coaster that I knew would be associated with it? Having come out the other end of that dark, lonely, depressive, insufferable tunnel, I think the latter was true. It wasn’t the change I was afraid of but the effect of the change on me.
I’m now in the vortex of change once again. I’m awash with swirls of emotions and expectations. This time the change is in my professional life. I think of it as is portrayed in the photo – an ancient brick wall and a modern building. I’ve parachuted off what is now an old, dusty, weathered mass. At the bottom I am presented with brand new climbing gear, ready to climb the shiny new building. I’m unfamiliar with this new climbing gear. As I begin to put on the new gear, I notice that some equipment is missing. I don’t have any drills, crampons, pitons, hammers or some of the other gear that was necessary to climb the old brick building. Instead I’m faced with many new gadgets and gizmos that will help me climb this new one. There are still some familiar gear that I used before that will no doubt assist in the ascent, but the new ones will definitely need getting used to.
Are you still with me? Good! 🙂
I’m in the middle of my third week of my new job and I have to admit, it’s very exciting. I feel like I am valued. I feel a part of a team that is always in sync. I feel that I can/will strengthen and help to drive the team forward. I feel that working together we will achieve positive results. I feel supported. I feel there is scope for professional development and I feel that new job is willing to invest in me.
I’ve begun my ascent, My feet slip as I try to gain a firm foothold during the first few steps. My manager is already guiding me and my fear is beginning to abate. I’m encouraged. I look across at the old brick wall and as I begin to caress the shiny smooth curves of the new building, I think, “Why the hell didn’t I jump sooner?!” Without that old brick wall however, I wouldn’t have the climbing skills I’m now utilising to climb this new building.
I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses and I’m fully aware of some of the challenges I am yet to face. Some of them will be familiar sweets in different wrapping, others will be totally new flavours of which I’ve never tasted, but I am confident that I will be given the support I need.
Although new job might be akin to having a new toy, I am happy but not ecstatic. Although the old brick wall is no longer my home, it was a familiar place. I felt comfortable moving around it. I’ve had many happy and sad times on that bloody wall! Shed tears, shared laughs and had a few, let’s say disagreements. I’ve met some of the most beautiful people ever created, and have formed some unbreakable friendships that will never wither with time. It wasn’t always easy climbing that wall and I bear some scars as a result, but those I take with me, lessons I have learned, experience gained. The friends I also take with me, in my heart.
It’s never easy being the new kid on the block, and as I embark on this new voyage, sailing into unchartered waters, I’ve come to realise that nothing is static in this life and the only constant is change. Whether or not we welcome or embrace it, we can never hide from it. All I’m going to do is make the best of it. Thank you to all of you who have supported me during this time of change. Your encouragement and love is appreciated and I am/will always be grateful. One love. 🙂