I’m happy for you

You won the gold cup, I have to make do with a silver plate

I’m happy for you

You finished your degree, I dropped out of school

I’m happy for you

You got the promotion that I wanted

I’m happy for you

You found a partner, secretly I wanted us

I’m happy for you

You bought a new car, mine’s just been repossessed

I’m happy for you

You’re enjoying life, I’m suffering

I’m happy for you

You’re moving on, I’m climbing a slippery slope

I’m happy for you

I’ve made a difference in your life

I’m happy for you

How many of us are genuinely happy for people? Today I received some great news from someone who is very important to me and I’m so unbelievably happy and proud of her. I’ve never met anyone who’s been more deserving of the opportunity she’s just been given.

This made me think…surprise surprise! I meant it when I said “I’m happy for you.” I’ve been in situations as I’m sure most of us have, where we’ve said that we’re happy for someone when deep down we really aren’t. Am I lying? This can be for whatever reason. We try to put on our most genuine fake smile and fill our sentiments with adjectives that truly convey our pleasure, don’t we? If our jaws were more powerful our molars would be crushed to powder! We then try to pacify our disappointment, anger, disbelief by telling ourselves that “It wasn’t meant for me anyway, something better will come.”

While this may be true, we are still humans with feelings and because we don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, in the spirit of sportsmanship, a quiet life or whatever, we do the right thing by being a ‘man’ about it. Is there something wrong with saying “Well actually I can’t believe you won. I worked my hardest for this” “I am disappointed, I am angry, I wished I’d won, or got the position.” “Why can’t you see that I love you and you’ll be better off with me?” What if that person is a good friend? Will the fact that they ‘beat’ you affect your friendship? You see there’s this thing called envy that we try to suppress, but no-one is exempt from this emotion.

Some of us are so competitive that losing is not an option and when we do, we throw our toys out of the pram and you’d think that our world just came crashing down around us. When you’ve worked your bollocks off to reach a goal, it hurts when you don’t achieve it, or you think it has been ‘taken away’ from you. Personally, I live with the belief that things happen for a reason. Sometimes I wish I knew what the reason is for certain things happening but hey, that’s life.

Are you the type that sits and sulk when you lose, or can you truly say and mean it when you tell someone you’re happy for them? If you can, then I’m happy for you! 😉 One love.

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