Where’s your dirty laundry? Where’s your skeleton hiding? Where’s your Pandora’s box? We all have our little secrets that we keep hidden away in the bottom of our ‘laundry bags’. I certainly do. Is it a bad thing to have a bit of dirty laundry? No matter how honest we think we are, we all have a few little “If I tell you I’d have to kill you” bits of dirty laundry lingering in the bottom of that basket. Whether it be personal or family related, we hold that one in as if our life depended on it. The shame, the scandal, the ostrich moment! We shudder at the thought of that getting out!
On the other hand, some of us love airing our dirty laundry. That clothes line is so long and strewn with personal details about us and antics we got up to that we could write a best seller! Sometimes we even add other people’s dirty laundry to our line! We do it out of jealousy, hatred, envy, spite. You name it, we hang it!
As I embark on my journey of trying to understand why we think the way we do and do the things we do, I find myself thinking, “What’s so wrong with having a bit of dirty laundry?” Maybe I want to keep certain things to myself, maybe I’ll be better off not sharing that bit with you, maybe you would judge me and form a wrong impression of me. I’m not lying to you, just omitting a few details. What’s so wrong with that? Does it mean that I’m being dishonest? Being deceptive? What if I don’t want you to know that particular thing about my family? Is it gonna affect our relationship? Maybe I don’t…actually, not maybe…no, I don’t want to give you the key to my Pandora’s box! Maybe I want to close that chapter of my life and move on, so I swallowed the key and buried the box where noone can find it.
We are so full of secrets aren’t we? That’s why we love buying the glossy mags to see who’s laundry has been put out. To see who we can have a really good gossip about. We love it!
But you know something? Our dirty laundry doesn’t always have to be dirty. Classic example, you have a crush on a mate that you’ve known for years. They may be happily married with children and you might even be their kids Godparent, but you’ll never tell them. Better yet, you help the person find a partner…even though inside it’s killing you because you want them so badly…but you say nothing and hook them up. How about this one; Your mate goes for a job but doesn’t quite make the cut. You know how deep his desire is for this position and how it will change his life. His application gets rejected but you have an inside connection, pull a few strings and gets him through the door. His life does a 180 and you become best man and Godparent again. Do you tell him? Not all laundry is dirty laundry and sometimes it’s ok to have secrets. No?
Having said that, I’m thinking, “How would I feel if I found out that someone was keeping something from me?” I suppose I wouldn’t know if they didn’t tell me, but what if someone they know decided to air their dirty laundry and I got a whiff of it? How would I react to that? Would I confront them? Would I be able to accept their explanation if they came clean? Would I be angry that they didn’t trust me enough to tell me? Would I be able to trust them again? Would I be able to trust anyone again?….but yet I’m holding on to my dirty laundry! Can you understand what I’m trying to say or am I just having a bout of literary diarrhoea?
Has anyone hurt you so bad that you’ve aired their dirty laundry? Did it make you feel better? Did it make you feel guilty? Trust can be such a b***h sometimes! In my mind the jury’s still out on having dirty laundry and skeletons in closets where relationships are concerned. We should be able to trust each other totally and be 100% honest with each other shouldn’t we? Please let me know where you stand on this one. One love.